Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
