bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
