ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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