I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
