white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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