I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
