Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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