Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
