Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
