So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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