I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
