If i come over, it means nothing
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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