oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
