I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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