So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
