Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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