If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
