That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
