I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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