i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
