last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The air was thick with penises
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i out mim tonsoeep
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
