Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
