i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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