I'm lost and stupid without you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
