Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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