I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
