Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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