So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
