So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Are my feet made of real feet?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
