The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
