Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
