The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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