I faked an abortion last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
