If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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