I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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