i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
