There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
