y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
