Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
