I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
