Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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