Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
