does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
