I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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