you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
