ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
