she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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