I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
