Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
