Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
