did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
